#why do i bother people with my issues

[jinxed-sinner]

Look I know Lucifer isn't the best dad ever but I feel like people who say he's a bad dad are purposely ignoring the context of the show. It is very much implied that he thought Charlie wanted nothing to do with him, and Charlie thought he wanted nothing to do with her. Lucifer’s still dealing with trauma from Heaven and his fall and probably will for the rest of time plus he's dealing with what would probably qualify as clinical depression, and simultaneously dealing with trauma, clinical depression, and autistic traits (which Lucifer absolutely has; I do not say, as an autistic person, that Lucifer is a massive autistic mood for no reason) is a fucking NIGHTMARE.

I'm not saying Lucifer shouldn't take responsibility. He should. But he's already doing better than my dad frankly. Lucifer hits me in the daddy issues, I wish my dad made an effort to be more active in my life. Lucifer is fucking trying, and that's better than a lot of people can say about their dads.

[piko-rose]

My Personal Headcanon On Why Amy's Love For Sonic Died Down Lately (and their dynamic)

When they were younger, Amy's love for Sonic was pretty extreme, and Sonic was, understandable, uncomfortable for the most part. He knows she means well, but that girl needs to calm down.

She can fight, but sometimes her hammer could only stun her enemies for a while. (It took her a long time to get rid of that robot that has been chasing her around Station Square.) She wasn't fully independent yet, even if she fought on her own a couple of times.

She often follows Sonic and his friends around. She is part of the team, but she was not a strong as she is now at the time yet.

She admires Sonic. A LOT. And Sonic knows that. Obviously, he could only run away from something like that, since he is NOT ready for that kind of thing, and whether Amy takes the hint or stop, she still loves him.

...BUT, I think things were slightly starting to change between her and Sonic after Lost World.

Remember this line?

You remember that? Okay, okay. Here's another totally unrelated question:

Before the events of Lost World, when was the last time Amy said "I love you" to Sonic out loud?

...YEP. 😈 (Unless I'm missing something, let me know lmao)

As more games and adventures come out, the characters get slightly older, and Amy is 12 to 13 now, and she is most certainly at that age where her body starts to change, but especially on how she views Sonic.

She knows she loves Sonic, but it was this moment during her change where she actually wanted to admit that she loves him.

I believe that Amy was all about sharing her affection to him not through confessions, but through obvious hints. Sonic totally got it, and there was no need to confess. Sonic knows she loves her.

...But she never said it. And she almost did, but she never did again for a while.

I think this was the moment in her life where, oh, God, she actually loves Sonic. SHE LOVES HIM, WHAT.

And she was looking back at all the times she had with Sonic that she can now see were unpleasant to Sonic (At least that's what she thinks) and that's probably why she isn't so expressive about her love to him than how she used to back then.

She wasn't sure what to do with this realization, and sets aside it for a while, and nearly stayed as her casual, peppy self... until the Eggman War happened.

During the 6 months of being with the Resistance, fighting Eggman's army all day and all night, all she can think of was Sonic.

She dreams that he still with not just her, but with her friends. She just wanted to see Sonic again, she just wants to be with her hero again.

But I'd like to think that she was also thinking about how she used to treat Sonic back when they were younger, how Sonic would almost always run away from her whenever she asks him out, or always look so uncomfortable whenever she gets so close to him.

Cringing at those memories big time, she wanted to change and hopefully when Sonic is okay and comes back, she can be better for him.

...Or will he still find her uncomfortable regardless? Would he even be happy to see her at all if he did survive?

But, hold on! She can't just give up her love for Sonic! He made her who she is today! A peppy, nature-loving, hammer-swinging, confident, brave... loud-mouth... annoying... Sonic obsessed... weak... pathetic... lonely little girl.

If she gives up on Sonic, it'll be like she gave up on the one hedgehog who saved her life. If she didn't she'll still be the same ol' Amy.

I also like to think she had parents a long while before she met Sonic, and was even expecting a little sister, but a robot invasion happened from where she was and attacked her parents and instead of trying to save them, after getting hurt, she ran away, hoping that they'll come back okay. But they never did.

She was all alone, and needed someone, a friend, a new family, someone who will hold her hand, anyone, to be there for her. But she was ignored by lots, and at that point, she's better off by herself, but still longed for company.

Eventually though, her tarot cards told her her future hero, and there might be hope after all. She encountered Sonic, held onto the belief of the cards tight, and the rest is history.

So, with that headcanon in mind, not only did Amy loose her parents that she didn't save because of her cowardliness (she was only so little at the time that happened) and also Sonic, who she thought will be her only hope, but now gone.

She doesn't even care if he did come back, he'd probably hate her now after everything she did to him, always talking about their "future wedding" or forcing him to go to Twinkle Park.

For the last few months of the war, it was nothing but Amy mentally beating herself up for either refusing to change or moving on, and they are both not fine choices.

She loves Sonic, but he does not love her, and she finally, finally realized it. And it's probably for the best if no body loved her at all.

But of course Sonic did survive and all of her worries wash away in an instant, she's just not expressive about her love for Sonic AT ALL now, since she's still worried about it but rather not mention it to Sonic because it doesn't matter.

If Sonic doesn't love her, then her feelings don't matter to him, and according to Amy herself, that is okay.

But also, I'd like to think that Sonic was thinking about his friends a lot up in the Death Egg for the past months, sometimes it's Tails (worried for his safety), sometimes it's Shadow (because he's wondering why he would join Eggman.) At some point, for a few days, Amy was in his mind the longest, and he felt bad about how he thought he was rude and pushy to her.

He wondered if she's not thinking about it too much, and if she is, will she give up on him? Yeah, he doesn't feel the same and still not looking for a relationship, but it's so strange but interesting how anyone could ever like someone like Sonic the Hedgehog. Amy was never afraid to show that, and she probably might be now.

He couldn't help but feel guilty. They were kids when she was like this, but he was so... arrogant at the time too. Not a lot happened at the time yet. He'd always have trouble expressing how much he value his friends, until he shattered the Paradox Prism. (I'd like to think Prime took place before Forces. It makes sense.)

She is such a sweet girl, and he probably made her believe that he didn't care for her. Just because he doesn't feel the same, that doesn't mean he hates her at all.

He wished he never ran away from Amy... Worrying for his little bro and wishing to be a good person for Amy was when Sonic cried in the Death Egg for the first and only time.

Frontiers, in my opinion, is kind of confirming their dynamic now. Sonic is a lot more sincere and kinder to Amy and she is not all hyperactive and lovey to Sonic. There is probably a real reason for this now.

They are both hiding their feelings from them, and they are both unaware of this. Amy, hiding her mental issues from Sonic, and Sonic, hiding his guilt away from Amy.

None of those things are important now. Sonic is with Amy and Amy is with Sonic. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.

They don't care if they'll ever be something more when they get older. None of that matters anymore. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.

Maybe someday they'll both talk about it, but for now, the present is important. They care about each other too much to think about it right now.

It's the kind of love that is unbreakable. It doesn't even have to be romantic. It's just love. Love is important for everyone, in any form. It's something Sonic and his friends need. And especially Sonic and Amy.

Amy Rose is the living embodiment of love, and without her, a lot would go downhill for Sonic and co. Heck, if it weren't for her, Shadow wouldn't have never remembered Maria's promise, which lead him to save the world with Sonic, before he temporarily disappeared from their lives for a while.

She is always there to lend a helping hand for anybody, even bad guys like Metal Sonic, and despite what she had been through, both in Forces and headcanon wise, she still fights back, even without her hammer.

She will pick you back up on your feet, reminding you that you are important and that you are loved, and that you should never give up. It's pretty much the words of encouragement she herself needed also...

She is still the happy, hyper, butt-kicking hedgehog we all know and love, but she still need someone to pick her back up on her feet after so long. Thankfully, she has her friends and her blue hero. The hero who made her who she is today.

I think Amy has no idea how important she thought she is, but Sonic does. Sonic knows fully well how important she is to a lot of people. It's about time he returns the favor to her. It's his turn to remind her how much a lot of people love her.

How much he loves her.

And I feel like The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog was the moment where their dynamic really shined, but also the starting point of their relationship not only healing, but also the next chapter of what's to come for them.

Everyone, friends old and new, gathered around for a special birthday. A birthday for the confident, unshakable, and radiant Amy Rose.

It was such a special moment in Amy's life. After years of chasing and following the people she look up to, she is part of the team, but most importantly, she is part of the family.

She is fully realized as someone more than just a fangirl, but someone strong, courageous, creative, kind and a big inspiration for others.

I feel like this moment here...

-is where Amy is eternally grateful to call her friends her family. A family she thought she'll never have again. She's not alone anymore, and as long as they're by her side, she'll never will be again.

Her chasing days are over. She's finally caught up to them. She's finally home.

And it's all thanks to Sonic.

If it weren't for him, she'd probably be alone forever. Her past moments with Sonic might be embarrassing to look back on for a while, but they are good memories regardless, because they involve him.

Sonic saved her life in more ways than one, and despite everything, he's grateful to have her too.

He cares about her. He really does... And in her eyes, that all she needed to know. As long as Sonic loves her in his own way, she'll be happy.

Amy hasn't given up on Sonic. As long as Amy always supports him, he'll be happy.

Maybe sometime in the future, they can talk about their problems, but that's a story for another time. At this point, they need to. Right now, they are happy. They are okay.

They are here for each other. They are finally better for each other now.

"You guys won't ever leave me, right?"

"Wouldn't dream of it."

[theteaisaddictive]

radical feminism making a comeback (/derogatory) was not on my 2024 bingo card

[moeblob]

You just made me realize for the first time since I've been drawing these guys. The person I have known the longest irl (met him in fourth grade and am still in touch with him) is a Scorpio. Holy moly.

[bayetea]

I am once again stating that people who complain about fanartists drawing black annabeth in any context (in general/with book percy/etc) are the lamest people on the planet

[autisticlee]

"good people are out there you just need to get out and find them"

cool thanks. but i'm too tired to keep ~going out and looking for them~ i'm too tired to keep trying, using up all my energy, getting super overwhelmed and burnt out after just a couple weeks of trying as hard as I can, met with other people barely trying back or not being very responsive, and needing to recover from it for a year or more each time because it overwhelms and burns me out so bad. I get nowhere no matter how hard I try, all i get is uselesss advice from people i try to befriend who dont want the responsibility of friending me. i'm tired of trying beyond my limits and causing more issues for myself. or dealing with issues I get from meeting the "wrong" people. if the "right" people exist, why can't they find me? why does it have to be only my job? i'm too tired and overwhelmed and burnt out to do it!!!!! the right people will just easily help and be there for me right? so I guess i just have to keep waiting for them for all eternity????? i'm tired of waiting. give me more than "just wait/keep trying/don't give up" because those instructions unclear and my useless attempts are very discouraging and exhausting and i'm so overwhelmed that i'm losing the ability to even socialize at a minimum at all now!!!!

if humans are meant to be social creatures and we require positive interactions with each other to stay healthy, then why do humans ostracize their own? why do some of us struggle so much and are denied any help and instead blamed? why can't I be given advice on how to live a lonely life without anyone else by my side instead of being told "one day! keep trying! you need people because it's essential to being human!" even though i've been waiting for "one day" for 25 years and could wait 25 more, or even longer? I don't know what i'm doing wrong or how to improve it so waiting is all I have. what if I wait forever?

[frederickkittens]

.

[pwurrz]

being obsessed with yakumo is a job and baby i’ve never called in a sick day!!!!!

[n0bluev]

@fushiglow hmm….wonder who i’d draw this for all of a sudden and why… 🤔🤔

[gemharvest]

Hate thissss I feel like I haven't been properly productive today (somehow posting two art things Doesn't register properly in my mind) so I wanna stay up to get as much as I can down, but I also need to go to sleep in case I'm called in tomorrow because fuuuuuck going to work on little sleep that shit sucks. But also, the possibility of being called in makes me wanna stay up even more, so I can finish art in case I don't have time tomorrow. So now I'm sat up at 12:30 tired as shit but unable to draw or go to bed. The never-ending cycle of hell.

[jils-things]

2024 is probably not my best year now that i think about it

[sskk-manifesto]

Ep 5!!!

[watery-melon-baller]

im never quite good at dealing with people venting to me because my automatic response is to offer them a solution, and i get frustrated if they continue to vent without taking the solution, especially if it's a simple solution. i am aware that everyone has issues and that things are difficult but sometimes i see my friends and i just get so. envious and annoyed because they can just sit there and whine without even doing anything. which is a cruel thing to think because they do have legitimate issues but every time they're talking im just always thinking in the back of my head just do the fucking thing. Just do it. It doesn't Matter if X and Y are affecting you just fucking do it you have to do it you can't just sit on your ass and not do it. and i don't want to say that to my friends because it is mean and not nice and they have real legitimate issues and i completely understand where they're coming from and why they're struggling but my internal dialogue is a constant manta of "didnt ask didn't care stop being a little bitch and get over yourself and do it" because that's what i have to tell myself to get anything done

[tanicus-caesareth]

guarana drama, damage control

[skunkes]

[theanimateddragon]

Ooooookay.

So this is partially the blog post I promised to my awesome mysterious tumblr mutual @lostclouds-world and partially an autism issue rant. If you don’t want to deal with that kind of stuff go ahead and skip this one.

So my friend that I’ve caught feelings for, has also told me numerous times that if I ever needed to talk that she’d listen. Well, of course I took that at face value, and because of how crappy this week has been mentally and lots of things bothering me, I finally caved and just poured it all out, including how I feel. It felt great to get everything off my chest, but I almost immediately felt like I had made some sort of mistake. It was so unfair of me to just put that all out there, even though I’d been told if I needed to I could.

Well it took almost all day for her to respond, and it turns out I was flipping right. I had once again apparently overstepped, and overshared. I had no shot to begin with, and now I’m not even sure I’ve got a friend because I was having a mini-crisis and turned to someone who had consistently told me that I could go to them if I needed to get stuff off my chest. So that’s that part. Now for the rant.

So why the flip do I even trust anyone when they say they’ll be there for me anymore? That every time someone says that if I need to talk, that they’ll listen? Pretty much every time I trust that, it turns out to be a lie. And why the flip do they try to assume that I want them to fix it?? Like if I’m talking to someone about something I don’t want them to fix it, I just want them to listen. I’m capable of dealing with crap myself, but talking it out helps. I swear sometimes I really hate being autistic because I can’t ever seem to be able to understand what people actually mean. And more importantly, why the flip do neurotypical people say things they don’t mean?? Like just say exactly what you mean, not what you think you should say. I’d have a lot more respect for people if that was how it worked.

But it’s not how it works, and so I’m stuck in a seemingly endless loop of trusting people only to be told that they’re not my therapist. Like you bitch of course you’re not my therapist. You’re my flipping friend, and YOU TOLD ME I COULD TRUST YOU IF I NEEDED TO TALK. But when I actually need to talk, it’s always either “I’m not equipped to handle this” or some variation of “I’m not your therapist”. Like cool, I wish I would’ve known you didn’t actually intend to just listen and let me rant BEFORE I came to you to rant.

And you know what, maybe it is just my fault for ranting to them in the first place. Yet when I talked to my therapist about wanting friends who will listen and be there for me while not trying to fix my problems for me, I was told BY MY THERAPIST that I needed to find friends who would do that. And how the flip am I supposed to do that without trusting my friends? I swear that I’m going to lose my mind if even one more person that tells me I can talk to them when I need to about whatever I’m going through only to turn around and act like I’m overstepping a boundary. People can really frigging suck without being a horrible person.

Like I’ve had a lot of good friends who are usually good people that I trusted only to then essentially lose them because I talk to them about whatever I’m going through, good or bad. So I’m questioning why the flip I even try to trust people anymore. Maybe it’s because I like trusting people to be good people, or maybe it’s because I can’t seem to not take people’s words at face value. Either way, it’s just another way my autism is alienating me from those close to me. And I can’t help but feel like it’s all my fault somehow because I just trust people’s word and take them at face value. I wish I wasn’t like this and that I could just be normal and not struggle with this stupid part of living. I swear eventually the only people I will ever interact with is random people on the internet. Anyway, rant over. Thanks for coming, I’ll see y’all whenever. Hope y’all are doing better than I am